Love Letters to My Autistic Son, Justice

Love Letters to My Autistic Son (Post 1)

April 23, 2023
Muir Woods
Mill Valley, California
10:45 am Pacific Standard Time

Dear Justice,

My sweet son. Look at your beautiful brown eyes. So bright with curiosity. Your gorgeous brown skin lights up the room when you enter. And your smile. Worth far more than a million bucks. Oh, to see your smile melts my heart daily. I love you so much. No words can express the love I have for you.

When you were 3 years old you were diagnosed with something called Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 3. I can remember your sweet walk as you tipped-toed around the house. I can remember you making sounds, but the words not seeming to form the way the world “traditionally” said they should. I can remember you putting your hands over your ears with the loud sounds. And the disgusting, hilarious face you made when I offered you the textured mushy mash potatoes! Oh, my sweetheart. I didn’t know what all this meant, but I’m learning. We are learning together! It meant that you were just different in your own unique, peculiar way.

The world tells us we should act a certain way, we should look a certain way, we should speak a certain way. But, I have learned from you that we are all beautiful in our uniqueness! Precious in God’s sight. What may seem like a challenge to the world, is a sign of beauty in God’s sight. Let’s hold on to this. Beautiful for LIFE my son! There will always be weight in this world. Don’t let it crush you, son. Don’t carry their weight. It is not yours to carry.

Right now I am sitting amongst the gorgeous Red Wood Trees in Muir Woods in California. I am looking at some of the tallest trees in the world. They have survived and thrived for hundreds of years even in the midst of challenges. The Redwood trees are so beautiful, so strong. Made with the colors of brown, black, and red. Their bark and shapes are unique. Each tree is different. Some grow tilting, some grow leaning on another, and some grow tall and upward reaching towards the beautiful sunlight. My son, I see you as the tree growing tall towards the beautiful sunlight.

Right now, we are working together to see what means of communication is best for you. Will you thrive with your voice output device, sign language, or will you speak to Mama with your English and Spanish vocal words? Regardless of your choice, I want you to know that we love you. You are beautiful, special, and in my eyes divine.

Justice, my sweet son. Look at your beautiful brown eyes. So bright with curiosity. Your gorgeous brown skin lights up the room when you enter. And your smile. Worth far more than a million bucks.

I love you always,

Mama,
Dr. Kit Ford
Founder, Autistic & Loved, LLC

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